Breaking up isn't always hard to do.

Before you jump to conclusions from this blog title... I'm still happily married. No breaking up there! 

Now that we've cleared that up I will tell you what I've broken up with. First and foremost I feel so much relief that I can't truly express in words how grateful I am. My parents recently helped us out by paying off all of our credit card debt except one card. Nathan and I have 6 months to knock it out without having to pay any interest, and we are paying my parents back at an affordable rate. We will be totally debt free in about 2 years! Before my parents generous offer to help we were paying almost $330 per month in interest charges total and the thought of paying another transfer fee just made me ill. I've made a lot of progress but it was getting hard to keep that momentum going. It was causing me so much stress that my hair was falling out just to name one side effect of the stress. Anyways, we've broken up with the credit card companies and it feels great!! We still have the debt to pay but we're going to make a lot of headway now! Woohoo!! I feel that debt and depression are things that we shouldn't hide or lie about but almost always do. I just can't express how much of a load has been lifted off of me. 

The second breakup was with my Brooks running shoes. I just tried a pair of Saucony Hurricaine shoes and I have to say I was reluctant to try them. My pal Jackson at Fleet Feet ordered them for me and said I was going to try them out. I've never tried these on before and after a previous pair of Saucony's I wasn't interested, but he insisted. I picked them up Thursday evening, tried them out Friday morning for a couple of miles and I must say my confidence was restored. I usually never try new things on race day but I took a chance this morning and these are AWESOME! The last two runs have been the best I've had in awhile (it was also much cooler too) and I didn't hurt like I usually do. Of course I had some twinges and aches here and there that accompany running and lots of hills, but I felt great running this morning. I seriously may purchase another pair of these shoes to rotate!! I ended up running the 5 miler instead of the 8, but after I was finished I felt like I could have tackled the 8. I decided to run the 5 miler last night because my mileage has been around 2-4 miles and I didn't want to risk an injury one week from my Chicago race. 

Pre race selfie! 

I'm still smiling after the run! Are my shoes bright enough? I actually like the color... Bright shoes make you run faster right? Well apparently so!! I was running a good pace today and I actually had to slow it down because my running has been so sporadic and so so that I knew I would t be able to hold that pace. Now I've got rhe right shoes for me (finally) I can run more consistently and actually get a training schedule put together. I'm considering a fall half marathon with some friends, but I want to see how things go next week before I register. 

Nathan had a great run this morning. He was a little disappointed he didn't get the time he wanted but he was within a couple of minutes and he won 2nd place in his age group. Who runs a little over a 6 min/mi AFTER the huge hills?? I'm so impressed with Nathan's strength and how easy he runs. 

I was hoping to finish under one hour and that would have been a PR I think. My time today is unofficially 1:00:03. I was pretty close and considering I was under trained I'm happy with my time! It still REALLY REALLY irritates me when people ask questions like "what was you're time, did you run the 8 miles or only the 5?" First off... How's about a nice "great run" or something like that followed by a high five? Asking my time is like asking how much I weigh..why is it important? I do keep track so I can race against me and try to better myself. Second, did you do only 5? Really? I didn't see your butt out there climbing the hills. The 5 miler was hilly as well it just lacked Pete's Hill. I've been avoiding those people that make me feel negative so I guess that's kinda like another breakup that's good. 

 This pretty much sums it up!

Where does time go?

It's already Thursday and I just realized it's been almost a week since I've been on here. I'm trying to be better! It's been a busy but good week! Monday was a lot of fun on the river kayaking with some friends. It's harder than I thought to kayak and keep it going in the right direction! I'm sure I paddled 3x more than anyone because I kept having to correct myself. Other than my arms feeling like they were going to fall off and I should have wore my old bike gloves it was relaxing on the river. I was looking at the water and thinking how far I've come in a few areas...but I still have no desire to get in that water and swim. Ever. 

Work was busy this week and everyday felt like a Monday? Does anyone else have trouble recovering from long weekends? 

Training has been so so this week. It's getting to the point of panic because I have 2 big races coming up. One this Saturday and another next weekend! My shins have really been bugging me (I'm 99% sure it's those damn shin splints acting up again) and my running has been so so. It has been super hot so I'm blaming the heat and humidity for the poor performance. I may not like my new running shoes like I thought. Yea this is my 3rd pair of Brooks Glycerins but I'm not feeling it like I should. Actually I'm feeling it like I shouldn't! I picked up a pair of Saucony Hurricains today to test out. They felt great trying them on and I can usually tell right away if it's a good shoe for me or not. These things are so bright I think they glow in the dark! Wow. I don't like the color as much but I don't care...I need comfort, cushion, and stability! I did manage 3 miles Sunday when it was a scorcher outside. I was so hot that the last mile all I could think about was getting into the pool at the Y. I was that hot!! I almost forgot my locker combination because it's been so long since I've swam (May 27th to be exact).  I changed and showered some then hopped in the pool in the shallow end. I was kinda nervous and worried if I remembered how to swim. I just turned on my tunes and took off... It wasn't bad! I still have to stop at each 25yd to breathe but I think some of that is mental. It felt good to be back in the water. I will swim again soon and before 3+ months pass by. 

Along with so so running, swimming, and kayaking I've been doing some yoga at home. A friend recommended this app called "Yoga Studio" and it's really been great! Not a creative name, but I like the format. You have lots of classes to choose from and download for free (you do have to pay a one time fee for the app but not each class) that range from 10-60 minutes. Here is a screen shot of the app. 

These are the classes I've downloaded so far.

The app will talk you through and show you the poses and sequence. It's a good idea to have some prior yoga knowledge just for for proper form because it's kinda hard to see your phone or iPad In some poses. It keeps track of the classes you do in the calendar too. I will admit that doing this the last few nights has really really helped my insomnia! I have bizarre dreams but at least I'm dreaming. I still have to fight my kitties for my yoga mat. I'm not sure what it is that appeals to them so much, but it's fine and I just move them as needed. Last night during the final resting pose I was waking up and looked over to my left and saw Sir Purrs A Lot stretched out in his resting pose right beside me. It was pretty cute. Anyways I highly recommend this app if you like yoga! 

Here's to the weekend! 

It's FRIDAY!!!!

Happy Friday!! I think Friday is my favorite day of the week because I can run errands and not have to deal with a crowd like the weekend. Also important to note that I'm off work and can chill, train, or whatever. 

I had to get up early this morning to get Nathan to the airport to pick up the swanky rental car for his weekend adventures. He's going with his buddies to North Carolina for a bachelor party. Not the crazy wild kind (as far as I know) but the brewery hopping and just relax kind. He better bring me back some good IPA beer because I'm sure I will need one by the time he gets home.

I'm looking forward to going to bed when I want, blasting music and getting some good house cleaning done, ceiling fan on high, and sleeping spread eagle across the bed. I will miss him, but it makes you appreciate each other more when you're apart. I will need the beer because every single time Nathan is gone for a weekend the cats go ballistic and rebel. He is a cat whisperer for sure. 

I don't have much planned this weekend except to find some running shoes with more support...I think. I am going to try some RockTape for my run tomorrow and see if it helps. I'm having terrible pains in my lower legs especially the right side. I do not another stress fracture so I'm being VERY CAUTIOUS. 

Tonight I'm going out to dinner with some lovely ladies and celebrating a couple of upcoming birthdays. I'm planning a run tomorrow, maybe a bike ride and family visit Sunday, and kayaking on Monday morning. My goal is do SOMETHING everyday health/fitness related. Even if it's only a good walk...just keep moving. 

I'm really excited to Kayak. Before I leaned to swim a couple of years ago , there was no way in hell I would attempt anything that involved a chance of me drowning. Yes, I do realize that chance still exists but I feel more comfortable because I can swim. This will be my second time in a kayak so we'll see how it goes! It's part of the Mayor's Hike, bike, and paddle in Louisville. 

I have no idea how many calories are in this and I don't care!! It's a frozen bee keeper coffee. I can tell it has cinnamon and obviously honey in it. It's yummy! I'm against the Pumpkin Spice Rage until at least mid September. It's still summer dammit!!!  Why must people rush things? If I see CHRISTMAS decorations I will have a BF for sure. I'm one of those "enjoy the moment" kind of people. I will think about Christmas the day after Thanksgiving...the forgotten holiday. 

I hope y'all enjoy the long weekend! Be safe and be happy! 

Roller coasters in my head part 2

I didn't really get into the roller coaster analogy on the last blog. I got sidetracked! Anyways the last two days (honestly two weeks) have been really bad as far as motivation and such. I'm not even going to mention the junk food I've ate! It's like I'm purging or something. I planned to drink a Shakeology for dinner and have some fruit and cottage cheese for a snack later. I was going to run after work and maybe swim some. Instead I sat in my car for almost 45 minutes before I left the y and went to Culvers. Yeah we know that's  a GI disaster in the making. I ate then went home to chow down on some chocolate chunk cookies I bought last night. I've ate like this for the last few days. Yet I look in the mirror and hate what I see, wonder why my system doesn't run efficiently, and feel frustrated or depressed when my scrubs are tight (or i can't fit in my other clothes). 

I will go from healthy eating and working out daily to The Blerch (google it if you don't know The Oatmeal/Blerch). I'm up then down like a roller coaster. 

I'm registered for a couple of big races coming up and I'm nervous. I know I can finish the distance, I always do. I wanted to run these and feel great about myself. I trained hard and put in the work and my time would reflect that. Instead, I'm so far behind on training that my goal is to finish. I don't care about time, but I wanted to be better than last year. 

I will admit I need to write out a schedule and follow it. I like and need structure. I run when I feel like it during the week and do a longer run on Saturday. Working out and training when I feel like it isn't working for me at all. I need to do it in the mornings because by 6 pm I'm tired, it's too hot still, I'm hungry, my back is hurting, or whatever excuse I use. 

It's really funny that I've noticed a pattern. I like/want/need structure and when I have everything balanced I feel better and everything just flows. If one thing gets out of whack it throws off my whole center of gravity and everything gets out of whack. It takes me a bit to balance again but I always find a way. If my eating gets lousy...my training suffers...my negative feelings towards myself merge more...my spending gets out of control...my sleep is disturbed... I'm cranky towards family... My stress levels go off the chart... Work becomes a battle for me...It's all a cycle and it's not easy keeping it all balanced. One thing out of whack throws the other stuff off too. I almost want to make myself a big crafty adult chart and put a sticker by each thing I accomplish that day. When I get in my funk normal chores and basic hygiene seem impossible. I need to vacuum and fold towels but I don't care, my toenail polish is gross looking and needs removed and I'm not sure how long this mascara has been on (What's left of it) ... I don't care. Nathan will probably throw me in the shower and scrub me if I don't take a shower tonight. Yea... Kinda gross I know. 

I am going to take a nice hot shower after this blog post, drink a glass of green tea, cozy up with my kitties, and write out a training schedule for the next couple of weeks. I will then pack my lunch (healthy) and get stuff packed for tomorrow. 

It's easy to get off track, but you've got to hit the reset button and get back on. Nobody can change you except you. 

I love this post on FB. I'm slow but I will get there!! 

I love rollercoasters... just not the ones in my head.

I need to stay off Facebook on Tuesday's. I see all these "Transformation Tuesday" posts and it makes me feel like a slob. More often than I care to admit I go through a spell, phase, cycle, or whatever you want to call it and self destruct slowly. What's crazy is I know it's happening, but it's like I'm locked into this ride and I can't get off until it comes to a complete stop. A rollercoaster best describes this ride. You go up, up, up then down FAST and after that it can back up again followed by another down, or you go upside down or a hard left or right. I saw a disturbing picture on (yep you guessed it) Facebook that really bothered me today as well. I couldn't read the article because the photo really got to me. It was a little girl that had a little more belly and was holding a pair of scissors in her hands like she was going to cut the fat off. There was pictures of the "ideal body" all around her. It's so sad and I can relate to this picture too. I remember reading YM, Teen, Seventeen, and other such crap when I was younger and always shaming myself because I didn't look like those girls. Looking back I missed out on so much because I was hiding myself. I wanted to be a cheerleader and run track/cross country and other school activities, but one thing that was said to me changed my course of action for both the running and cheering. I did join marching band and loved being in the colorguard so I still had a lot of fun, but I feel I let myself down. As crazy as it is I still want to go and run on the highschool track some more as long as nobody else is there except Nathan and maybe a select few friends. I keep saying I'm going to go and do speedwork there. Yeah, that's happened maybe a few times in the last 3 or 4 years. I also keep saying I'm going to workout in the morning so I don't have an excuse in the evenings. 

Lets jump off this ride for a bit and hit some highlights of the weekend! 

Friday was a peaceful day. It was SO MUCH nicer than the week before. I met up with my friend Tiffany to play with some of her Younique makeup. I was interested in the 3D lash mascara that's all the rave right now. It has fibers that you use to make your lashes huge and really pop. I will say I like it more than I expected and purchased a set. I will take some pictures so you all can see the difference next time I play with it. I enjoyed a nice lunch with my peep Connie followed by some shopping (I kept my wallet closed) and a walk around a park. It was great to just talk and chill. 

Saturday I didn't get out of bed until much later than planned because Nathan and I were up hooting with the owls until almost 2am. We both had a long run planned for the morning and finally drug ourselves to his brother's house where we run and ride from a lot. Someday we will build a house next door on our property so it will be nice to just wake up and run without having to drive 10-15 minutes. I didn't feel like running at all before we even started and was testy with Nathan. I even said something along the lines of "I don't know why I even bother trying to run this is so difficult for me and I always end up injuring something". I was ready for the run to be over with before I even started. We took off and as always Nathan zipped along way ahead of me. He's an amazing runner that can run 7 min/miles and look effortless. I was ready to quit after 1 mile, but I kept going on. 

I stopped and took this picture around mile 1.5 or so. The buzzards were circling me and I just felt like lead. I wanted to quit and just walk back. Forget this! A song from the Top Gun soundtrack started playing (it was the Top Gun Anthem) and it made me think of my why. Why do I continue to do this and keep trying? Why can't I just give up and stick to biking and whatever else. One reason is my Momma. She has called me her "Top Gun" for as long as I can remember and I'm a fighter. I know what quitting and giving up feels like, so I want to keep going and feel what it's like to finish what you started. That's one reason I LOVE RACING! I don't race against others (yes, I do pick one or two people to beat but that's all usually) I race against myself. It was a struggle the entire run that was mostly a walk. One thing good about the run was I wore shorts!! It was so much cooler too! I wear either pants or capris to run in ALWAYS...even in 100 degree temps. I tried out my Coeur tri shorts and they worked well for the run. I hate shorts because of chafing and rubbing, the way my legs look, and they ride up and I have booty shorts on...not cute. However, these stayed in place!! Here's Nathan after a hard 10 miles. Secretly I like to see him struggle some just so I know he's human. He did have his tongue hanging out at first. Hahaha. 

Saturday evening Nathan and I went to the Kentucky State Fair and hung out with Connie for awhile. We chowed down on some fair food including a deep fried Snickers. Yes, it was good. Connie didn't stay too late, but Nathan and I stayed to enjoy the free Joan Jett concert. It was good. I'm not a huge fan of her like Nathan, but I do know some songs and enjoyed it. 

Sunday we got up very early to drive an hour to cheer on my friends Ericka and Karen. They raced their first triathlon in E'town! I'm so happy and proud of these ladies. They've been training and working hard for months and it showed.Connie and I took about 250 photos between the two of us so they should have plenty of photos to remember their race along with some well earned race bling. I have a confession to make!! I actually bought a new tri kit (top and shorts) with the intent of racing this triathlon. I didn't make it happen, but I'm glad I didn't because I was able to help my friends out with their race and cheer like a crazy lady for everyone else too (especially since nobody else was cheering). 

 After the race Nathan and I gorged on some breakfast and headed home. I rushed to my friend Sara's Young Living Essential Oils party. I love YL oils and been using them for several months now, but this was my first class. It was interesting. Afterwards Sara gave me a "Hellga" massage to loosen up my aching and very tight legs. It hurt like hell (hence the name) but it was amazing how much it helped! My legs feel so much better! Monday was the first time I've got out of bed and walked around without feeling like my achilles was going to tear and slept without leg cramps. I spent the rest of the evening with Nathan and chilling. I ended up crashing early because I was exhausted.